Luckiness, no fluke?

---

SATURDAY12TH MARCH

It's been awhile since I left this blog. Assalamualaikum and what's up, people inside and outside the planet Earth? Still struggling in this hard life? Same here. But to think positively, it absolutely makes me stronger. Last week was a total hectic week for me, who is still immature to conquer her own life. Starting from Sunny Sunday until Sorrowful Saturday. I still remember it. I was crying every day, that week. Not crying out loud... Just about a few minutes to get myself into normal person again. BUT WAIT... crying is normal right?

''It's okay to cry. Crying is a natural response to pain.'' -Baymax 

Let me skip for the first and second of March. Let's leap to 3rd of March. One of the happiest days in my life, I guess? (To be honest the happiness is just a little even though it was also a hard day but I really want to see that happiness on that day, do you get what I'm trying to say?) I'm officially become a SPM leaver. I did a great job, I know. Even though I didn't achieve my goals but my dad said let's just grateful and say ''Alhamdulillah''. What a lovely advice for his little daughter. *grinning* ^^

Knowing I didn't accomplish my mission well, so I decided to make a move to improve my skills without any action. Uh? Uh! Actions speak louder than words, but right now my head is spinning "fakely". So I guess typing to make an entry is a mini way for me to improve, slowly. Special appreciation to Google Translate. T__T. Okay, back to the topic! On that day, at that glorious moment... I am the queen of the day! (maybe I should change it to 'princess', yes that's better!) I mean, princess of the day. I didn't expect much. Since I didn't confident and even did not trust myself.

Also, the same day.
I felt bad to everyone. So, is the happiest person cannot be happy because the others are sad? They said ''don't share happiness to sad people''. How can I do that? Because they also said ''share your happiness''... I'm getting confuse. SO I GUESS THE HAPPIEST PERSON SHOULD JUST KEEP HER HAPPINESS IN A DRAW AND FEEL THAT SHE'S ALONE AND THEN BECOME SAD PERSON. I just don't know... :( I'm also a human. And human never ever can make everyone happy. Half of them are happy, and then the rest are the irony. How tragic the life is. So I went home  But nobody's home. No, this is not a song. This is a real situation. Heh! Never mind, then I ate some pisang goreng and keropok for my lunch. Happiness shared? Yes, with food.

NEXT CHAPTER PLEASE!

I received that message from you, did you remember about it? I was on the top of the world, on the cloud nine, delighted (nazira, it's just same! -_-) and my face is well-described about that feeling. Receiving the text from person that you love. (can I say loved? Cause I'm not sure with my feeling). That's just make my little world even brighter. I forgot about dimmer moment at that time. Thanks, er... dude? I don't know, I'm at the entrance, about to exit from the silly dream but I didn't notice I was totally trapped by my heart. So I guess let me just shut my mouth up and let my heart controls it. Then, brain interprets slowly... realising my action (my heart's) was stupid. COMPLICATED.

I don't want to share a crucial thing in this blog. Since, it's still public even though no one will read this nonsense entry. But still, let me just keep it deep inside my big heart. 

Thanks to one of my favourite boys for this shoes. Can you read my heart? Cause I really wanted this so much and finally you gave me this. Speechless yet my love grows more for you. Much loves. ''Massive congrats for his little princess''. Gratefully, my piggy bank is safe! Later!

---

Thanks for reading! :D

---

Random Achievements

---

''Never stop learning, because life never stops teaching.'' - twitter.com

I already achieved a lot of goals without realising it. Soon, I forgot to be grateful person. Bruno Mars said, too dumb, too young to realise. Oh sorry, I'm not going to say myself dumb. The old me might a little dumb, but I'm crawling against it because I don't deserve that title. I'm way better.

Before this I was aching all over in so much agony that even myself couldn't remember the pain that I've been through. I'm glad that I'm still breathing in this fresh air. Without so much worries because the past years taught me a lot of lessons and finally I barely escaped from that terrible life.

But when it comes to my bad temper, I do argue over meaningless things, proving that I still have my childish charm on my own way. I should listen others' opinions, yes I do but sometimes I don't accept. In this circumstances, I should be thankful because they didn't leave me. They accepted the other side of me including the horrible one. Unfortunately, I didn't think twice that there must be even a little leftover of my bad attitude in their hearts that might hurt them. 

If and only if I able to dive into their heart and search for my mistakes. IF ONLY.

The other side of me before, uhm am I going to reveal it? Yes because I'm moving on to another chapter of my life. All this while, when I had nasty day, I cried instead of thinking the silver lining of the incidents. I felt that I've been humiliated, left aside and thought that myself was full of hatred by some people. I did cry over silly things. Gosh! I was negative-minded all the time. Actually they didn't. Of course they didn't. Thanks to that awful experiences, I'm no longer too sensitive when it comes to moderate conflicts. However, I am pretty sure I am not strong enough to face a HUGE trouble all alone yet I'm still learning to do so. 

Age is just a number, maturity is a choice.

I want to be hundred percent positive. It may be hard but no pain no gain, right? Don't laugh, I'm serious. Let's not be an idiot for crying of nothing. As an easy example, crying for this person > BOY. Well, as a girl I did that before. WHAT? I'M NORMAL. Falling in love for a boy is normal when puberty hit you. But the vital thing is how you handle the situation. Whether you keep it deeply in your heart or you just meet him face by face and confess (congrats for brave girl like this). Based on my observations, I do agree that when you keep it deeply in your heart, you hurt more. Because you will be confuse of him and also yourself. SO. LET'S BE ABNORMAL. Right now, I have no feeling towards any boy and I have no time to think about it. It's enough with a few experiences before this. I had that love feeling before. It's too beautiful created until it's too hurt to forget. But, I showered praises for myself cause able to forget easily about....him. EH? 

''If you’re not losing friends then you’re not growing up.'' -facts

I'm growing up! Hurray! I get motivated by Kelly Clarkson's song --> Breakaway. ''I'' spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly, I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky and I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a chance, and breakaway. Out of the darkness and into the sun. BUT I WON'T FORGET ALL THE ONES THAT I LOVE. I'll take a risk, take chance, make a change and breakaway. I do love a few of Kelly's song. The lyrics are the cure to the ill melodies and soon forming a great momentum for me and others. Nonsense? Sorry! Hmm, I may lose my old best friends. But I believed they came in my life for awhile for some reasons. Like.... to make me realise that I have to be brave in reality. I was living in virtual life before? Well, a bit! Indeed, I'm grateful right now cause best people in my life still besides me. Family, friends, and last but not least, the special one, my little me.

Goodbye. May all the force be with you.

---

Thanks for reading! :D

---