2020 : new decade

皆さん、こんにちは！^^

1st February 2020, 1:41A.M.

a little me waving hi to Feb 2020, and bye to Jan 2020 

     Hello. It's me again. Finally it's 2020. A new year, a new decade. A 22 years old me. Uh oh! A new month too. To summarize my trial month for this new year, I could say it went well. Gonna be a fourth year student on spring semester after this omg I'm not ready >:( Well well, Imma just put that aside and enjoy my 2 months holiday. Unfortunately, I'm not returning to my country. I had one night that I suddenly missed home, family and friends but then I checked the flight ticket only to see that damn it's already expensive I'M NOT GOING HOME. I'm grateful enough they're active on WhatsApp and always there when I need them. <3

     Back to my university life. I finished my final examination two days ago. 4 papers. I was actually aiming for at least 3.9 for this semester but then hehe if I just could pass all papers that would be enough for me lmao. I messed up software engineering mid sem test. That was because I had to take two papers on that day and I only focused on the other one (electromagnetism) which was surprisingly easier that what I was expected. 残念だったなあ。。。However, I guess I did well for other subjects. Let me share you this one thing. Before the day of examination, I always call or send text to my mum;

Me     : Ma, tomorrow i got test, can you please doa for me? Hehe!
Mum : yes sure, I always doa for you lah, everyday after solat i always doa for my children, but you also need to doa for yourself too.
Me     : hehe okay mama i will but you dont forget to pray for me tau.
Mum : iye comel, i always pray that you will be the best of the bests. 

     She once wrote a letter for me; "I hope you will always be the best of the bests" during my spm and that's how I ended being top 1 in school at the very last moment of my school life. I always believe that dua especially the one that come from your mum can be very powerful. That why I will always tell her to dua for me eventhough she always did but I will always tell her to do so. Just in case, she can doa more hagagahaggahgha. But! I once read something about this thing. Someone said "my mom is my tempat bergantung harap because her doa and support, i cannot imagine living without her" but then someone said to her " but someone said to her "dont just put your pergantungan to your mum only. don't forget Allah"

Jangan kamu letak pergantungan kepada harta, kerana apabila harta hilang, kamu yang akan sengsara. Jangan kamu letak pergantungan kepada manusia, kerana apabila manusia hilang, kamu juga yang akan sengsara. Tetapi letaklah sepenuh pergantungan dirimu kepada Dia. Siapakah Dia? Dia adalah Allah SWT. ( اللَّهُ الصَّمَدُ) tempat pergantungan sekelian makhluk. Mohonlah pertolonganNya

لاَ حَوْلَ وَلاَ قُوَّةَ إِلاَّ بِاللَّهِ.

"Tiada daya dan upaya melainkan pertolongan Allah"

Maka kamu tidak akan sengsara. Wallahu'alam

Pesan Imam Ibn Qayyim :

"Janganlah bebankan dirimu dengan kerisauan tentang dunia kerana urusan dunia milik Allah. Janganlah bebankan dirimu dengan kerisauan tentang rezeki kerana rezeki datang dari Allah. Janganlah bebankan dirimu dengan kerisauan tentang masa depan kerana masa depan di Tangan Allah. Apa yang engkau perlu risau hanyalah satu perkara sahaja, iaitu bagaimana engkau membuat Allah redha kerana sekiranya engkau membuat Allah redha Dia akan redha padamu. Apabila Dia redha padamu Dia akan melindungimu dan mencukupkan keperluanmu." 

credit to : @medandakwah

     Moving on to next, just to express another part of my little feeling! For 2020;

-To be healthier of course!
-To lose fat again (cliche goals) so i can wear pretty clothes without any worries!
-To meet snow too!  snow fall outside today but only tiny I can barely saw them.
-To have better skin too; flawless, glowing and what else? xD
-To have better outfits lol i noticed my fashion are boring i need some fresh style
-To have better communication with people in malay, english and japanese also.

     Last but not least, to have a life with more positive vibes inside. My heart broke in 2019 and I had enough. I mean yes I don't want to spend my 2020 healing. My healing time is over. I did really well forgetting, forgiving and deleting all those stuffs. It took like almost half a year to heal. I don't want to experience that anymore. But somehow I have no regret. I take that as lesson too and that also referring the same thing like what i said before this. "Letak pengharapan jangan pada orang, tapi pada Allah". That's what they said to me too. I will never forget those good things about that but I will definitely leave and never look back. 

Bye. 

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Thanks for reading! :D

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It's a wrap? No?

皆さん、こんにちは！^^

17th December 2019, 12:08A.M.

It's currently winter season in Japan. 

           

     Hello. 久々だね。I told myself that this week gonna be productive by reducing screen time for smartphone and planning to peek a bit my Japanese language grammar book but ended up renovate my blog and currently typing for my lovely dusty blog. Since it's been awhile, I said to myself "why not?" and jangjang! wwww

     I noticed that I've been very lazy even to focus in class. It's different from before. I used to be one of the diligent girls (lmao) but now I always found myself lying on bed; scrolling Twitter, Instagram, Youtube and all those stuffs. It's not that it's a wrong thing but still as a Nazira, I feel a bit disappointed with myself. Where's the old me? I want her back!

My favorite quotes by my korean crush, CB97.

   
The worrisome of myself doesn't stop at that point. 2019 had me almost insane too (wuuu that hyperbola, metaphors) because of my brand new chapter in my life. I learnt a lot of lessons for my 2 decades life. Being a foreign student in Japan is hard. That's what I can conclude for my 2019 life, so far.

     I can't deny how beautiful and unique Japan is; 4 seasons which I have never experienced them before this. Sakura? Momiji? Yes, it's fascinating! I can't wait to see my first snow too.  Alhamdulillah, I know I should be very grateful for all of the great things that happened in my life.

初雪という。

   
The problem is Language.Barrier. and Being.A.Girl.In.Engineering.. Hmm hmm hmm... Firstly, to be honest, before this I can say that my Japanese language skill is quite ok. We talked a lot during classes with sensei; kaiwa thing, discussion, saikoro talk and so much more. But when it comes to talking with the real Japanese people... (except my sensei during my diploma study) 

 
  I lose like almost all of my confidence. Poof! Vanished into thin air. Only silence. I even lose my Malay vocab too! *bawling* That's when I realized that I'm going to be insane if I keep these unchanged.  Secondly, being a foreign student in class with whole of Japanese people in it. And the worst case is, you're a girl but like 95% of the class are boys.  :((

Huhuhuhuhuhuhu

   
I know I shouldn't make any ridiculous nonsense excuses. I'm currently trying and hoping for the best to end my decade. 頑張ります。All I can say, I'm grateful to have small circle that I can depend to. I will work harder to my 2020. Yosh!

     I will be back. I will not saying bye to 2019 because it's not ended yet so. 10 days left before my special day and I'll be waving a goodbye to 2019. Also, I will be spending my 2019 by visiting Okinawa. I hope everything will be fine, Amiinn! 

      See ya! Adios. 

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Broken June

皆さん、こんにちは！^^

If all it is it eight letters
Why is it so hard to say?
 If all it is it eight letters
Why am I in my own way?

That's the end. Thank you for all the memories. I kept all of them except you. Bye. 

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Two Zero One Eight

皆さん、こんにちは！^^

Been a long time!~ Holiday will come to the end soon. Time flies like an arrow, especially when you're at home. Definitely. Never mind. Oh anyway... HELLO 2018. 19 years old 9 days Nazira is walking into 20 years old world wuho! Good luck babe.

So, I'm keeping my previous post in draft section since I'm starting to dislike about it. Yeah whatever, I'm going to live abnormally and at this circumstances, I don't mind and I don't care. Having that kind of feeling was suck and I'm wishing to get rid of it fully from my life. Let's live better than before. Expectation is the root of all heartache. I've been through lot of things. Let's clear unwanted feelings, reset my heart and whatsoever. 

What's up 2 weeks of holiday? I watched Jumanji Welcome To The Jungle 2 times. But the most important one is... I celebrated my 19th birthday. And the person that I was hoping to wish for my birthday... DIDN'T WISH ANYTHING :'D Thanks for that anyway. I'm going further from you. I moved because of your words but then that was just nothing. An ordinary chat. Not even special. It was just nothing.

Your silence is the loudest to me. 

After train of thoughts playing in my mind, I finally understand. Sometimes, you didn't get what you desire because your desires might just a few, but you deserve a lot. One of my friends wrote that kind of quotes in a birthday card and gave it to me. Thanks buddy! Oh, he even gave me cadbury OREO. Yummy! Oh no, my tummy is growling! Current time : 2.38A.M. 

Alright, I'm out of ideas. Last but not least, let's talk about 2018.Gonna be tough year, I guess. I mean, of course! Life should be harder when we get older right? Love or not, challenge yourself. Remember, Allah tests you, because He knows you can get through that. You're stronger that you think! 

Here's my goals for 2018, just some goals that popped in my mind.

1. Get thinner! Oh yes please! Lately, I ate too much and a bit concerned about my health and weight too! Since I am short girl... Yeah whatever.
2. I would like to spread smile! Omg I love people's smile so much! Warm smiles give me positive vibes, a lot! 
3. Gain my confidence level of course. I'm going to socialize with many people. So get rid of shyness! Mingle around.
4. Stop having any unwanted feeling. Especially towards a person. You gotta need time for yourself, this time. Chin up babe! 

I got a lot of things in my mind. But I guess that's all for now. Leaving, see you! Adios!

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Push and Pull; Force?

皆さん、こんにちは！^^

''Well, I lied.''

What's up, readers? I'm back with lot of things to tell, to share, to type. Not going to make a long introduction. Guess what? I survived and got chance to continue my study here in the same program. Getting full scholarship is super lucky but then the struggle is no joke that you almost die. So I currently in the middle of Short Semester in 2nd Year. Last year, there was short semester too. We did 書道 (shodou - calligraphy) of Kanji, and also handmade 巻きずし (makizushi - sushi rolled in nori seaweed something like that). It was fun but need to mention that we also need to attend class like usual. -__- 

But current short semester is like........... Hurkkkkk!

I'm still in the same class, Electrical & Electronic Engineering 1. The layout of the class still the same but we shuffled the seats. I finally got the chance to sit at the center wuhoo! Well, uhm, not really at the center but VERY much better than before. Before this, I have to wear my pink ''fashionable'' glasses because the whiteboard was damn far. I remembered when I almost cried cause I couldn't read anything on the slide, in chemistry class. LOL. Alhamdulillah I survived~ Now, satisfied for the seat but the class, not really. 

Let's talk about how my life begin for this semester. Malaysian studies! I cant even imagine that I will learn sejarah again. Let me tell you, I always got C in sejarah. I couldnt get into first class in high school because of that subject. I never got B for sejarah I guess but I barely made to get grade A for sejarah on Trial PMR, and cried, LOL. -___- So imagine that I need to face the same thing again...... pray for meh guys. Next is mathematics. I mentioned this for 973987394793 times, I am a math lover. Since... idk... till now. I know it's getting hard, I always got hard time with you too but it cant vanish my love to you. No matter hard you are, let's be together forever. (ehhhh)

Last but not least, 電気電子。I need to pull up my sock, improving in this subject I choose electrical engineering because I wanna get rid of mechanical engineering (lot of people said this too LOL) and I'm still trying to love it like how I love mathematics. I couldnt get 4.0 in second semester because physics (electrical thing lol). I get hard time to understand the circuit. I mean like, required long period to understand a simple thing. And I was like.... come on Nazira, this is just a surface for this course. And now I'm pulling a long face. No matter what, I need to struggle for it. I know I can do it. But hello where's the booster? I need inspirational thing to gain spirit too. Family and friends will do. 

Have lot of things in my mind but never mind, see you people.

Lot of loves, from me.

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Sixes and sevens

皆さん、こんにちは！^^

It was a hectic week. Glad it's over. But doesn't mean I can be relax, nah it's impossible! Oh hello readers. Have you smile and be grateful for today? Please do so cause people look much better with warm smile rather than frown faces, right? Anyway, above gif is cute right! But seems that it contains lot of meanings. I mean, like.... a strange relationship. Uhm, back to the title, sixes and sevens; in confusion. 

I rarely get along with the title but still trying my best tho! Lately I've been through lot of hard times, yet still got happy moments with people around me. Actually I've finished final examination for Semester 1 of 2nd year here and perhaps gonna conclude some of lessons learnt during this semester. So I live in that class for 2 years without shuffling (can i use this term actually lol). To be honestly honest, I didn't enjoy being here. But now I'm grateful to be here. It taught me lot of things. Friendship, betrayal, appreciation and much more. Inexpressible and expressible things, mixed feelings and dramas of course! 

Because people never be grateful, at first. So I took this chance to learn how is it, struggling alone. I chose this path so by hook or by crook I have to pass it. 

Even though 私はちょっと分かりづらいんだが。。。

I guess I was shy, I mean... stay silent in class but they just don't know the true colors of everybody so... yeah I live as a shy girl... and nosy. My insanity? Shh!! I've been bullied in my dorm too (lol this is joke don't take it serious) But well, I love my roommates, I guess one of the noisiest room is ours. We gossip, laugh, fight, argue and so on. ALWAYS. The arguing part is real, they bullied me physically cause I bullied them mentally. I guess that fair and square. I can't really fight bigger and older people anyway... *heavy sigh* Never mind, I still love you guys. 

Haven't done with that class. So after few months with them, I'm happy. I still don't talk with several people... I mean, do I have to?? Got no point for that but still need to. I guess? Works that require me to talk with people like group assignment, debate things and so on... That's the only time I talk to people. Eh? (macam tipu) *Smell a rat* Anyway the most enjoyable one is Japanese class because I talk a lot. I even danced in the class but still people say I was 'ayu' in the class huhohuho ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

We do have conflicts too. I argued with a lot of people here. I did make people cry. Oh please, I even make myself cry and it served me right. 

I actually wanna type more but lets just end here. 

Train of thoughts in my mind but ねえ。。。
The picture above to you guys (unmention) sincerely from my deepest heart, かも。 

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Your kind of freedom?

皆さん、こんにちは！^^

One and only group that I can't even choose one of the members to be my bias cause they're damn slay in every MVs. I'm a BLINK! Present to you, BLACK PINK in your area! Even though I'm a fan of SNSD and Red Velvet but this new group from YG is literally perfect. Visual, dance, vocal and choreography are all out! 

Alright, I'm done for introduction. Hello there! To be clear, I'm going to continue my usual life in college. It's one week to go and this mixed feeling already got on my nerves cause the calmness that I want suddenly vanished into thin air. It's like having ants in one's pants, so restless! Whatever. No matter what I need to face that upcoming days. Still unknown one but let's get through it.

十人十色。そのことが分かったから、もっと頑張りたい。

光陰矢の如し。TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW. My 3 weeks holiday has made me head over heels unconscious of the hardships before this. Yet I need to make comeback and struggle like I did before. Oh yah! Recently I had a very funny conversation with my friend, where I got confused with some terms in Biology. And I was like... is this really me? Getting A+ in Biology doesn't mean you're going to remember it till today. That's not me. 

I guess I'm not even get along with the title. Here we go. My kind of freedom? I don't really think about this but yeah for me I don't like being pushed by pushy one. I just wanna stand with my own little feet. That's it. Second one is I really wanna get rid of insecurities where I need to face the world full of pretty women and other kind of things that make me insecure. I know I shouldn't. That's why I gain my confidence by telling myself ''Alah kalau diorang gelap hodoh jugak''. 

I don't even bargain for myself to be outstanding but a lot of girls have same dream like that. But then I'm grateful to be who I am right now. 

1. I was not born in silver spoon in my mouth ; That's made me realized how hard the life is. 
2. Imperfect and full of insecurities ; Sometimes I upset being like this, how idiot because I'm so lucky because easily can get away from riak. 
3. Useful brain, yeah I can say that ; Because I'm able to make my mom and dad proud of me. 

So? Be grateful for being who you are. However, be careful not to expose your weak point while attempting to protect yourself, 頭隠して尻隠さず - Atama kakushite, shiri kakusazu

ANYWAY, YOUR KIND OF FREEDOM? 

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Cold ft. Future

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大好き[LOVE]　－　大嫌い [HATE]

This kanji, 大means big. For this circumstances, it brings the meaning ''really'' or ''so much''.

Really love // hate so much! This is my favorite gif anyway. 

Hello people in planet! 空が青を失っているが、泣かない。[Even though the sky is losing its blue, I will not cry] What's up? For being honestly honest my idea for this entry is N-O-N-E. I'm just desperately want to type in English so this perhaps will be my 34549579th random stories. I'm currently in home! So basically my day is a total different with my life at college. Ah~ So relaxing! I wonder what are my friends doing, but pretty sure having great time for 3 weeks before return to the mini jail. 

For this 3 meaningful consecutive weeks. I wanna grab the opportunities of having productive day, everyday! Sadly I got none of pen-pal. Would like to make some but... Never mind. So, I would like to spend time with family members, youtube-ing and of course searching for new songs for my little 耳[Ear]. 

That's mine. What about you? 

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Inexpressible.

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in·ex·press·i·ble

ˌinikˈspresəb(ə)l/

adjective
  (of a feeling) too strong to be described or conveyed in words.

"inexpressible joy"

synonyms:

indescribable, indefinable, unutterable, unspeakable, ineffable.

APPRECIATION TO MR.GOOGLE.
  Just a new word for me today. 初めてこの言葉を使って、いいと思う。Anyway it's February 2017. What a meaningful month. Too much things in minds, too much pain, too much happiness. I'm always wanna be a grateful person everyday, so I keep thinking of sweet memories I had with people surrounding me. 

FIRSTLY, I WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THAT THERE'S NO CONTINUATION FOR THE PREVIOUS ENTRY, UNFORTUNATELY.

I'm finally finished my Japanese lesson for semester 2. Gladly I didn't sleep in class, but there's a day when I was too sleepy and took a long closed-eyes moment. And pretend like I am thinking while learning. In semester 1, I did sleep in chemistry class with my companions besides me. The funny thing is they still do the same thing in semester 2. While me is having 'insaf' semester. *acah*

They said I'm way too diligent. They don't know. My diligent is to cover up my laziness. Yes, I do prepare my baju kurung at night, that's because I'm way too lazy to prepare in early morning. Morning is not my time, but still I wanna love morning just like I love sleeping at night. I wanna have productive day, I'm hoping for it everyday but still, the progression is slow as my internet. I'm wasting a few hours everyday for something unimportant. I know it. But what can I do~ 

I keep counting the day till I am able to return home. Hectic days here really made me turn into a real person. Yeah but still couldn’t get rid of craziness.

*     *     *

Today I’m feeling so happy because of this little thing. So let me tell you about one of my Japanese Lecturer named Chie Hashimoto (知恵橋本)。*Okay sebenarnya aku hentam je kanji ‘Chie’ tu* She was one of my favourite sensei because she is Japanese and can talk with cute accent of English with her own style of teaching. I was with her too for my first Dokuwa lesson and she’s with me again for the third one.

At first I was a little cuak because compared with Malaysian Lecturer because of the disability of having Malay conversation. So, by hook or by crook I need to speak with her 90% Japanese and 10% English. I guess... So my third dokuwa presentation, I was with my partner named Nadhirah (MashaAllah ejaan nama kawan sendiri pun tak tahu)

It was an extremely long fight with dokuwa. It was. All that I can say is it was inexpressible because of getting mou ichido a.k.a please redo and submit again until you get ok. We struggled for it about 6 times I guess and then finally got the OK + smile emoji from Hashimoto sensei. No doubt I was happy for having her as my dokuwa lecturer because this is my pure chance to speak in Japanese. And because I often talk to her, she finally recognized me every time I meet her. I'm truly happy and appreciate her. She will return Japan after this. I'm going to miss her very much. Talking with her which can improve my Japanese really made my day brighter. Her smile, her action. Arigatou gozaimasu. She even waved at me when I meet her. Even though there's a lot of students there, she recognized me. Thank you. Kanshashimashita. <3

さようなら。

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新しい経験 「NEW EXPERIENCE」PART 1

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     今晩。I guess there's nothing much happened yesterday (27th January) but today (28th January) was one of the best day for 2017年! What has made me became so happy is that I gained A LOT of experience of in Japanese we called it as 経験～ I went to Bangi Wonderland but this entry is not a review for that water park. Sorry it's all about my stories. 

    Rm58, we (my 5 girls and I) entered the wonderland. Not a big place but I'm pretty sure you guys gonna got muscle pain at your legs and back. The most obvious one of course your arm too. Yeah cause we brought the float (eh ye ke I mean it's pelampung) and my muscles (tiny muscle i guess) were struggling in so much pain today [MashaAllah over-reaction mode is on!!] It's also because you have to bring the pelampung and walk to far place and also climbing numerous stairs (salah penjodoh bilangan hahaha)

     Okay, let's go to the main part! I guess I have so much fun because I got new experiences. Actually I have done some games at another water park but I guess new place got new experiences right? Firstly, I'm going to talk about how I went there with another 5 girls with me. So one of them has a car and bring us and with the help of waze, we arrived safely even though a little bit late. For the first time I'm in the car where my girl friend was the driver. I was a little 'cuak' but I guess maybe I can make anything as a lesson. So the lesson learnt is, be brave and confident like her but not clumsy as her too. Hehehe. She's just okay with her driving. But I can't deny my cuak level was gaining unconsciously. Anyway, congrats for being a good driver, safely arrived and returned. 

     Perhaps the continuation will be made tomorrow. I'M SLEEPY LIKE * 

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YOUNG AND FREE?

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     Hello people. How's life in 2017? Gaaahhh~  For me, its going to be a tough year of course. But no doubt I will gain new experiences, test my sabr level and much more. 楽しんでね～For real, I am 18 years old and 1 month minus 4 days. Still, they called me 19 years old girl. Where you are now still young but free. For me, I'm still childish, lacking the skills of being matured. So let me describe briefly(?) about this new year.

     For the first time, I didn't celebrate my birthday, 26th Dec 2016, my 18th birthday but no pizza, cakes or even KFC. They wanted to celebrate but I lost my mood for some unknown reasons. Weirdo! Returning myself to my second home, I got homesick and guess what? Crybaby!! I can't help but cry, I miss home and so on. The truth is I just sick of tests, quizzes which made me feel suck being in this second home, or sometimes I called it mini hell (just in my deepest heart)

    Being matured is hard as my heart. I couldn't stand people's action, though it was my fault. Yeah I should blame myself right. I shouldn't do extreme jokes. So I kept my mouth closed. That's perhaps better. I have to deal a lot of new thing I have never experience. Dying inside but that's just temporary. I believe. Hurting myself as I hurt them. Hurting myself, forgetting that silly action on past years. 

    I moved on about 97%. I kept the rests 3% for joying my little world inside. Sounds idiot but that's the truth. Nothing much to say but I'm not really ready for this kind of thing. Not my passion anyway. I do love youtube and twitter and songs than you. 

    Conflicts. 

     The immature me won the game. I'm turning into a childish girl and annoyingly spoiled their days. I knew. But sometimes I couldn't stand when their actions were too much (in my opinion). I do have strange feeling of our relationship. I don't know why but there's still a wall. A huge invisible wall. I can't break it for some reasons. Or maybe that's just a feeling? Nope. That's the biggest lie. This made me to bring back the nostalgic memories, where's the gadgets are not the important things. Yesterday and today is a total different. 

     I don't know how to start it. But please know that gadgets are not the things you should always take care of. I do love the friendship before the gadgets take the first place. I want everybody appreciate the relationship between humans in front of you. Get me, I'm... begging. 

     Last but not least, feel free to listen to Melanie Martinez - Mr Potato Head. I almost cry. What a psycho Melanie. GET THE MEANING OF THE LYRICS. 

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MJHEPの生活

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今晩は。何をする？えーと。。。初めてひらがなを使うから、みずがあったら、ごめんなさい！今から、うれしい。日本語がだんだん上手になるから。もちろん、まだてんさいになるけど。。。がんばりたい。

       Alright alright, if I continue typing in Japanese, I would create more grammatical error so let's change to English as usual. >.<' MY BAD! So, okay. Did my wish come true? Clearly not yet. I'm still not flying yet to Japan. Who knows? Maybe my dream to be in Hokkaido land will become true. Even though right now Basic Japanese is killing everybody in MJHEP, いっしょにがんばろう！I do have a lot of things in my mind right now but of course I won't tell everything in public. So let me just have a simple conclusion for each topics (topic apakah?)

HAVING MYSELF IN 213

I still can't forget our first meeting with my roommates. Everybody with muka suci (except ieyra because she's with me since high school) which are totally different than current one. But yeah to be honest I do feel grateful to have them in my life. To be compared with my best friend's life in *****, I'm totally thankful to be accepted for this program. Here I am, in 213 which is the eeriest room ever since you have a total 100% of getting bullied by Hanis. Hehe, no offense. But she's nice person. I still remember how she took care of me when I got fever. Most matured maybe? But still have her childish side, hmm can't be help though. Izzatie? Well, I can tell that she got a lot of similarities with me. Maybe? I can get along well with her. Karaoke-ing, dancing, making silly faces towards each others perhaps could tell that we both got that insane characters. Ieyra, yeah since she was my deskmate in high school so I don't worry much about her. Honestly I don't know her 100% but for now it's just enough to have her like this. Where I can be crazy and to lean when I need. That's it. She's one of the reasons I'm staying strong in MJHEP. No doubt.

HAVING MYSELF IN CLASS X

Semester 1 and Semester 2 with class x members. At first, I said ''oh my this class is boring''. TOO SILENT. But soon... *takleh describe* I don't really sure but after ''hack hack'' punya kejadian, maka riuhlah group x on Whatsapp... Our relationships became strong after gathering makan pizza. Yummy! Making a big circle and playing truth or dare are some of moments with class x members. Beautifully created by us. Soon, I began to be thankful for have them. Walaupun aku tak rapat dengan semua orang. That's why I'm scared of losing them (konon acah baik ni). Jadi, selamat menikmati hari hari baru pada sem 2 dengan nazira yang cantik berseri ini ya anak anak semua. Oh ya, in this class, I'm the youngest, as usual. Penatlah jadi orang termuda ni. Maknae desu! (eh korean + japanese?) And last but not least, mime drama group. I still remember that hectic week. Kakunin test lah drama lah presentation itu lah kaiwa apa semua. Semua masa tu stress. I did feel that too but not too much. Entah, watashimo wakarimasendeshita. Tapi yang aku ingat, aku pergi praktis drama pun, duk main main dengan kanji lah, tak fokus. Budak budak ni sama naik, selagi takda yang cakap serious, selagi tu main main. Gladly drama kami tu so-so boleh lah cukup cukup makan. Dapat komen positif dah cukup lega. Balik pukul 12 duk praktis drama. Padahal praktis kanji. Kah! Member x yang lain, ramai je aku tak pernah bercakap. Hopefully to have a great relationship with all of them.

HAVING MYSELF IN JAPANESE CLASS

First class was D. First lecturer was Tomino Sensei & Aizan Sensei. Just one week / one day if I'm not mistaken. Second one was Sumire. Blablabla I don't remember what happened in Sumire but my partner was Techa. I'm okay with her, of course for the first time, I did feel awkward as usual. Shy toka, nak loya buruk malu kononnya. Cis penipu betul. Then class shuffle. What will be my next class? SAKURA? ASAGAO? NADESHIKO? Penat aku fikir last last I got Sumire again. Time tu manusia yang ada dalam Sumire 1 tu Isha, Sakinah, Fathi, Zahid dengan Syawal kot? Sumire 2, my partner was Mahirah, also member of class X. She's better than me in Nihongo that time, so aku rasa bersyukurlah jugak kan. Boleh lah tolong tolong aku sikit. Ceh! Blablablabla, then class shuffle lagi. My next class? Jeng jeng!

PAPAYA CLASS

To be honestly honest, Papaya class is my favorite one. At first aku tak suka gila kena shuffle kelas lagi sebab baru je rapat dengan member sumire 2. I entered Papaya Class. ''Partner aku siapa ni, ada beg je... manusia ni dah ke mana''. That's my first reaction in that class. Dah lah aku tak tegur pun partner aku mula mula. Dua dua buat bisu, kenal nama pun sebab aku baru je mengumpat pasal dia dengan roommate. (kah kah) Dia pun tak tanya nama aku, sampailah sekarang dia tak tanya. Memang takde greeting langsung. Tahu tahu je buat kaiwa (conversation) sama sama. Sekarang baru la gila gila lepas tu bila throwback balik pasal first meeting, semua dah takleh imagine camne. Teruk betul. Tapi papaya class paling happening.

COULDN'T DESCRIBE ANYMORE.

OKAY, I'M PUTTING FULLSTOP HERE.
Bye, Assalamualaikum.

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Random Topic

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THURSDAY7TH APRIL 2016

Hi! Tadaima! I'm back~ Warm hug to my mini world. Here, the heart speaks with the help of little fingers. I guess no one is reading this nonsense entry. However, describing feeling is still endless thing. First of all, let me share one of the keepsake quotes;

''For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.'' -Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Aw, what a waste! Shouldn't do that. Let us avoid from feeling down in the dumps. Anyway, super huge appreciation for my dad who bought this ocean blue laptop for his little daughter. I promise to take care of this gift diligently! Diligence is a mother of fortune right? Be grateful. At first, I was about to buy a coral pink one. [Check it out through GOOGLE!] But since the specifications are quite bad; no graphic card, just i3 core (actually this is okay) and only 500MB (I aimed my future laptop to have 1 Tera Bytes). So after a long discussion... I got this ocean blue one. Quite expensive for an ordinary person. Well, not born with a silver spoon in my mouth. However, pink still the champion in my heart! *Feeling on the top of the world!*

Phew! After squealing with joy, there's always an ironic plot. My inside feeling. I just don't know how to handle it professionally but I'm trying. I'm quite confused sometimes. *Laughing out loud*

Yes, this is the feeling of being teenager. However I believe in this idiom; easy come, easy go. Just like an inspirational idiom which makes me become more optimistic and avoid being pessimist. All good things come to those who waits. Sometimes I feel like I am painting myself into a corner. Gosh! JUST DON'T DIG YOUR OWN GRAVE! I nagged to myself. Back to the topic, [Do I look like I have a topic?] My elephant's memory won't forget those moments created. My desire to know more about you, the uncover incident. All of them were a total fatal. Who am I to go mad with rage that time? Just laughing at myself, realising that my imagination is the irony of the reality. My reaction was of course, like waiting for the other shoe to drop. But it's not too much terrified. It did not too eerie like what I have imagined.

My little drama.

HERE I AM, STUCK BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP BLUE SEA. 

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Luckiness, no fluke?

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SATURDAY12TH MARCH

It's been awhile since I left this blog. Assalamualaikum and what's up, people inside and outside the planet Earth? Still struggling in this hard life? Same here. But to think positively, it absolutely makes me stronger. Last week was a total hectic week for me, who is still immature to conquer her own life. Starting from Sunny Sunday until Sorrowful Saturday. I still remember it. I was crying every day, that week. Not crying out loud... Just about a few minutes to get myself into normal person again. BUT WAIT... crying is normal right?

''It's okay to cry. Crying is a natural response to pain.'' -Baymax 

Let me skip for the first and second of March. Let's leap to 3rd of March. One of the happiest days in my life, I guess? (To be honest the happiness is just a little even though it was also a hard day but I really want to see that happiness on that day, do you get what I'm trying to say?) I'm officially become a SPM leaver. I did a great job, I know. Even though I didn't achieve my goals but my dad said let's just grateful and say ''Alhamdulillah''. What a lovely advice for his little daughter. *grinning* ^^

Knowing I didn't accomplish my mission well, so I decided to make a move to improve my skills without any action. Uh? Uh! Actions speak louder than words, but right now my head is spinning "fakely". So I guess typing to make an entry is a mini way for me to improve, slowly. Special appreciation to Google Translate. T__T. Okay, back to the topic! On that day, at that glorious moment... I am the queen of the day! (maybe I should change it to 'princess', yes that's better!) I mean, princess of the day. I didn't expect much. Since I didn't confident and even did not trust myself.

Also, the same day.
I felt bad to everyone. So, is the happiest person cannot be happy because the others are sad? They said ''don't share happiness to sad people''. How can I do that? Because they also said ''share your happiness''... I'm getting confuse. SO I GUESS THE HAPPIEST PERSON SHOULD JUST KEEP HER HAPPINESS IN A DRAW AND FEEL THAT SHE'S ALONE AND THEN BECOME SAD PERSON. I just don't know... :( I'm also a human. And human never ever can make everyone happy. Half of them are happy, and then the rest are the irony. How tragic the life is. So I went home  But nobody's home. No, this is not a song. This is a real situation. Heh! Never mind, then I ate some pisang goreng and keropok for my lunch. Happiness shared? Yes, with food.

NEXT CHAPTER PLEASE!

I received that message from you, did you remember about it? I was on the top of the world, on the cloud nine, delighted (nazira, it's just same! -_-) and my face is well-described about that feeling. Receiving the text from person that you love. (can I say loved? Cause I'm not sure with my feeling). That's just make my little world even brighter. I forgot about dimmer moment at that time. Thanks, er... dude? I don't know, I'm at the entrance, about to exit from the silly dream but I didn't notice I was totally trapped by my heart. So I guess let me just shut my mouth up and let my heart controls it. Then, brain interprets slowly... realising my action (my heart's) was stupid. COMPLICATED.

I don't want to share a crucial thing in this blog. Since, it's still public even though no one will read this nonsense entry. But still, let me just keep it deep inside my big heart. 

Thanks to one of my favourite boys for this shoes. Can you read my heart? Cause I really wanted this so much and finally you gave me this. Speechless yet my love grows more for you. Much loves. ''Massive congrats for his little princess''. Gratefully, my piggy bank is safe! Later!

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Random Achievements

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''Never stop learning, because life never stops teaching.'' - twitter.com

I already achieved a lot of goals without realising it. Soon, I forgot to be grateful person. Bruno Mars said, too dumb, too young to realise. Oh sorry, I'm not going to say myself dumb. The old me might a little dumb, but I'm crawling against it because I don't deserve that title. I'm way better.

Before this I was aching all over in so much agony that even myself couldn't remember the pain that I've been through. I'm glad that I'm still breathing in this fresh air. Without so much worries because the past years taught me a lot of lessons and finally I barely escaped from that terrible life.

But when it comes to my bad temper, I do argue over meaningless things, proving that I still have my childish charm on my own way. I should listen others' opinions, yes I do but sometimes I don't accept. In this circumstances, I should be thankful because they didn't leave me. They accepted the other side of me including the horrible one. Unfortunately, I didn't think twice that there must be even a little leftover of my bad attitude in their hearts that might hurt them. 

If and only if I able to dive into their heart and search for my mistakes. IF ONLY.

The other side of me before, uhm am I going to reveal it? Yes because I'm moving on to another chapter of my life. All this while, when I had nasty day, I cried instead of thinking the silver lining of the incidents. I felt that I've been humiliated, left aside and thought that myself was full of hatred by some people. I did cry over silly things. Gosh! I was negative-minded all the time. Actually they didn't. Of course they didn't. Thanks to that awful experiences, I'm no longer too sensitive when it comes to moderate conflicts. However, I am pretty sure I am not strong enough to face a HUGE trouble all alone yet I'm still learning to do so. 

Age is just a number, maturity is a choice.

I want to be hundred percent positive. It may be hard but no pain no gain, right? Don't laugh, I'm serious. Let's not be an idiot for crying of nothing. As an easy example, crying for this person > BOY. Well, as a girl I did that before. WHAT? I'M NORMAL. Falling in love for a boy is normal when puberty hit you. But the vital thing is how you handle the situation. Whether you keep it deeply in your heart or you just meet him face by face and confess (congrats for brave girl like this). Based on my observations, I do agree that when you keep it deeply in your heart, you hurt more. Because you will be confuse of him and also yourself. SO. LET'S BE ABNORMAL. Right now, I have no feeling towards any boy and I have no time to think about it. It's enough with a few experiences before this. I had that love feeling before. It's too beautiful created until it's too hurt to forget. But, I showered praises for myself cause able to forget easily about....him. EH? 

''If you’re not losing friends then you’re not growing up.'' -facts

I'm growing up! Hurray! I get motivated by Kelly Clarkson's song --> Breakaway. ''I'' spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly, I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky and I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a chance, and breakaway. Out of the darkness and into the sun. BUT I WON'T FORGET ALL THE ONES THAT I LOVE. I'll take a risk, take chance, make a change and breakaway. I do love a few of Kelly's song. The lyrics are the cure to the ill melodies and soon forming a great momentum for me and others. Nonsense? Sorry! Hmm, I may lose my old best friends. But I believed they came in my life for awhile for some reasons. Like.... to make me realise that I have to be brave in reality. I was living in virtual life before? Well, a bit! Indeed, I'm grateful right now cause best people in my life still besides me. Family, friends, and last but not least, the special one, my little me.

Goodbye. May all the force be with you.

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The Silver Lining Of The Clouds

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''Believe that miracle can be reality.''

Assalamualaikum stalkers readers. What's up? Hope all of you guys are doing well. I'm pretty sure some of you might have bad day/feeling today. But as a friend to you, I would like to remind you that keep smiling even you are not okay. Smiling is like a virus. When a person is smiling, the others might smile too. So, let's spread the smile and prevent that sobbing and mad with rage face [it's ugly to be honest].Spread smiles. The Prophet Muhammad said that even smiling and saying a kind word is charity. #InspiredByMuhammadS.A.W.

''When you smile to your brother's face, it is charity.'' - Prophet Muhammad

Hence, if you're in a pickle/in hot water (in trouble), Be patient. It's sunnah! Soon, you'll see the beauty/ benefit of being patient when you're in trouble. Based on my experience, I can tell that it is the truth. When I was in Form 4 (2014), I failed to be a prefect in school for 2015 which have made me upset of myself. But I didn't make an attempt to burst into tears. Instead, I tried to be positive. As all my friends were able to grab that chance, I was sitting alone behind them, worrying about my marks/percentage for my co-curriculum. Soon, I decided to be secretary of Red Crescent Moon Association. (That's what I was thinking in my mind). There was a train of thoughts playing around in my brain (also in my tiny heart). Well, I'm not active person. I can say that I'm a shy person, have a slow/soft voice. But that's only when I'm with strangers or others excluding my family members and best friends. I really hate this side in myself. However, I never make a plan to change that personality.

Back to the topic, when the RCM (PBSM in malay) members were gathering, I just stayed silent. My decision to be a secretary PUFF! Vanished into a thin air. The others kept saying their friends name. I stayed... rooted. Watching the candidates for president's position... Phew all girls ( boys rarely join PBSM right?) At last, one of my teachers pointed at me... Saying that I'm capable and suitable. What? I never be in this position before. My highest position was just a treasurer in my class for 2 years in a row (need applause?) At last, majority of the members agreed to have me as the president. Later on, I returned home... cycling to home (I'm not staying in hostel, I was just cycling because my home is just a stone's throw away.) Come to think of it, if I got to be a prefect, I have zero chance to be in this position. WHAT A MIRACLE!

The following week. I joined Math Innovation club. This time, the teachers will decide themselves to choose student for the president and others. Well, I was hoping nothing... but I said in mind, if I get the lowest position, I might be happier. The president was a boy, as expected. Then, one of the teachers choose me to be assistant for president... OH MY! WHAT? ANOTHER MIRACLE! But soon she knew that I am the president of PBSM for 2015. But Allah said...

So I was choosen. Alhamdulillah. Since that day, I was not worrying too much about my marks for co-curriculum. Allah is fair. I'm also satisfied with my marks right now. 

In a nutshell, think! Face the world. Never give up. Allah gave me chances. Soon, I have to make a hay while the sun shines with the Allah's help to achieve my goals. It's okay to upset about a little thing but don't take time. Time is running. There will be the ups and the downs in our lives. But, be confident! I dare you, take the paper and marker. Write BE CONFIDENT as big as your paper. Then put it on the wall in your room. You can gain the confidence! The moral of the story is....... (look below) InshaAllah. 

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2016 ft. January

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Assalamualaikum, silent reader(s)!~ ^^

Hello guys! Happy new year~ InshaAllah pada tahu 2016 kita semua mampu menjadi manusia lebih baik. Be strong in your life. Because there will be endless problems to be faced. Takkanlah Allah tak uji hamba-Nya kan? So, apapun we have to be positive-minded all the time! Keep it up & you can do it... 

In 2016, kuragehime.blogspot.com dah berwajah baru~ Tada!!! Hehehe.... still in pink but different type of pink. If I'm not mistaken, pink salmon. Ada jugak pink lain-lain. Apapun aku dan pink takkan terpisah. Kehkehkeh! Thanks jugak Sis Om .. I'm so grateful to meet an honest and kind person like her. Alright so lepas 2 hari mengedit blog. Inilah kuragehime98 versi baru. Hehe... since 2012 tau.. 17 Ramadhan.. <3

In 2016, owner blog ini dah berumur 18 tahun dan beberapa hari since I am decemberian. Well, masih banyak liku liku hidup yang perlu ditempuhi. Apapun tahniah buat diri sendiri dan TUNA sebab dah dapat lesen L both kereta and motor kecuali si Anis (kereta je). Tak sabar nak dapat P pulak and drive vrooom!~ Doakan kami guys, inshaAllah. 

In 2016, MARCH. Result SPM will be revealed. Okay yang ni part yang paling mendebarkan aku. Because I knew what I've made. InshaAllah. Tu je mampu cakap. Goodluck student TePCES batch #007. Lepas result, masuk U. Maka terbanglah semua ke bidang masing - masing. Aku si tuna members tak lupa aku yang comel ni. Mestilah kan? Tuna Sejati lah katakan. *krik krik* (baik gile ayat aku)

Tuna members...

• Norshahira bt Mohamed Zambri (26 Jan 1998)
• Wan Nur Syahirah bt W. Hassan (16 July 1998)
• Anis Asyikin bt Alui (4 Oct 1998)
• Nazira Hazwani bt Abdul Manan (26 Dec 1998)

Itu sajalah untuk entry kali ni. Lain kali aku nak hurai mereka ni kahkahkah! Semoga bahagia anda semua dengan orang orang tercinta. Aamiin...

#NOTA KAKI - Kepada batch 1998 dan lain lain yang berkenaan. Diharap agar pandai manage masa dengan baik (sebenarnya ni nasihat buat diri sendiri... keh keh keh!) Enjoy your life! //Written by : Nazira Hazwani 

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